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Beautiful Wellness {In Memoriam: Monica Bartolatz-Sawyer}

I met Monica the way a lot of Fairbanksians did in the early 2010s - at the Alaska Family Health and Birth Center. Monica and Jamie WERE the front desk. They were the smiling faces that everyone saw first when they walked in to the birth center for the first time (and likely every time after that).

Monica with a table of her Alaska Earth Mama remedies at the opening of the Alaska Family Health and Birth Center’s then-brand new facility in winter 2012, which was also my first and, to date, only First Friday show. {iphone photo}

Looking back at this picture, the words and feelings I most associate with her are gentle and passionate - though she was soft-spoken (literally; I don’t know that she was capable of yelling), she had an understated determination to pursue her passion for sharing wellness and was simply undeterred in her pursuit. Delays aplenty, discouragement unavoidable on occasion; but never waylaid for long. First it was Alaska Earth Mamas, naturally inspired and locally sourced remedies lovingly made in her tiny kitchen while she worked days at the birth center front desk and parented (and even for a while homeschooled) her son as a solo parent.

Later, her business evolved into Just The Tips Restaurant & Wellness Co - first a bright green drive-thru hut on College Road, and then a real brick and mortar location in the small yellow-and-white vintage house off Illinois Street. I want to describe it as having cult-like status in Fairbanks, but the truth is I think it was far too well-known to be cultish. It was coveted, for sure. People bemoaned the fact there was only one of her, the mastermind chef behind recipes that she never even wrote down. But it was always worth the wait. People clamored for more.

I knew Monica best back in the Earth Mama days, both of us in the early days of our small businesses. We collaborated - I took photos; she made carefully crafted herbal bath teas and nipple salve for me to gift to my birth clients.

One shoot we did was during an early spring forage of cottonwood buds - in April, in fact. My daughter, who is now 9, was just a toddler along for the ride, strapped to my back in a carrier. It was a gloriously sunny evening in early breakup - that time when it somehow seems totally reasonable to expect the world to burst into bloom at any moment, even though you’re still almost knee-deep in slush.


Even though I’m known for commenting (loudly) that spring is, hands down, the ugliest time of year in Fairbanks, it was really, really beautiful.

So, so many years later, the editors at Edible Alaska put out a call for images that might be a good fit for the cover of their spring Breakup/Green-up issue. They selected this image of Monica’s palm full of sticky cottonwood buds.

The one and only time I was in Just the Tips, in January, I got to tell Monica she was going to be on the cover of the spring issue. She came out from kitchen to give me a hug and told me that the news made her night. It had been a while, and it was so nice to see her (especially since I had something fun and exciting to share). It’s always such a great feeling to see old photos getting new life, and it was a sense of excitement that we shared.

Monica died, very suddenly, in February. The community around her is devastated, and her loss will be keenly felt always. But I think April is perhaps when I’ll think of her the most.

In Memoriam: The Barry Family's Legacy at the Fairbanks Children's Museum

Last summer I wrote here about the Barry family and their tragic deaths. They were Fairbanksians at heart even though they had migrated to Minnesota, the state of Riana’s birth and childhood. When they died last April, it shook our world in Alaska, too.

Sean and Riana met in Alaska, married at the Georgeson Botanical Garden, and made their first homes together here. Both Shiway and Sadie were born at Fairbanks Memorial Hospital. And now, Birch Hill Cemetery is their final resting place.

To memorialize and remember the Barrys here in Fairbanks, close friends installed a hand-built bench and planted flowering trees at the playground at Ken Kunkel Community Center in Goldstream Valley. And we raised almost $40,000 to create an endowment at the Fairbanks Children’s Museum.

The Shiway and Sadie Scholarship Fund at the Fairbanks Children’s Museum will fund scholarships for FCM memberships, summer camps, homeschool enrichment programs, birthday parties, and more, in perpetuity. And the fund isn’t done growing. Now any donation made to the Fairbanks Children’s Museum is given the option to direct all or part of their donation to the principal of the endowment, which will in turn continue to fund more and more services through FCM as it grows.

Since I had written about our GoFundMe here and on my Facebook page before, I wanted to come back and give the update that we did it. Thank you to Kris Capps at the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner for her coverage of our efforts and our success, and to each and every person who shared the fundraiser on social media, mentioned it to friends, or donated money to the fund.

I also wanted to share the news in a different light as well - for those out there who may be able to Pick-Click-Give or otherwise donate to community nonprofits, the endowment is a powerful new way to fiscally support the museum’s mission to support children and families in Fairbanks, now and in the future. My absolute favorite thing about the endowment is that it is literally the gift that keeps giving…and giving, on and on. It can become a forever part of our community, just as the memory of the Barrys is for those of us who knew them.

Katie Barry poses with a check for the final $7,550 raised, from a fundraiser in Minnesota organized by Riana’s family.

Adventures in Portraiture || My Attempt at the Up-Close Headshot

Odds are, you’ve seen a Martin Schoeller portrait, even if you didn’t realize it at the time.

He’s done series of portraits of the housing-insecure in LA, bodybuilders, NASCAR drivers, identical twins, and something like four U.S. presidents in addition to a slew of celebrities. I can’t actually post any of his work here because, you know, copyright, but I trust that Google can help you out here. (I actually find it very entertaining that the thumbnail Google begins to auto-fill when you search for Martin Schoeller is not a photo of Martin Schoeller, but is instead a headshot of Brad Pitt that Martin Schoeller photographed. In short, no, he’s not Brad Pitt.) His portrait of Jeff Koons is to portraiture what Salt Bae is to seasoning.

Anyway, I find his signature style of portraiture - very close up and meticulously lit - mesmerizing. There’s frustratingly little reliable information out there on the interwebs about how one would replicate it. But I’ve strategically paused and screen-grabbed from enough interviews and news coverage he’s done over the years to feel like I had a general idea of his set-up…enough, at least, to try it.

The assignment for the photography class I was taking at UAF this semester was to create a series of 12, theme and subject of our choosing. I figured it was as good a time as any.

In my world, the most willing and amply available models are kids, so that’s what I went with. (If you wish to learn from my mistakes, I would tell you that it turns out kids aren’t actually the ideal subjects for a meticulously arranged and minorly claustrophobic set that includes a “ceiling” reflector held aloft by light stands, BUT THAT’S ANOTHER BLOG ENTRY.)

I give you, Before and After.


Ten years ago today, I became a birth photographer. [In memoriam: the Barry Family]

June 19, 2012 was the day I first photographed a birth with my own camera, a business license, and a steadfast supporter as my client. It was the day I became a birth photographer.

This is still one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken.

That’s Sadie, less than an hour old, staring deeply into the eyes of her father, Sean.

And when I say I had a steadfast supporter in my client - trust me, that’s putting it mildly. Without Riana’s help and support, I never would have been able to continue photographing births during those early years.


To be totally honest with you, I may not have ever noticed the tenth anniversary of my business was starting me in the face; I’m not particularly good with those kind of milestones - every year my husband and I realize at some point later in the summer that we both forgot our anniversary, again. And honestly, I wish with all my heart that this anniversary too would have passed in the background of the crazy chatter of our lives, that nothing would have made it stand out in the absolutely heartbreaking way that it has.



On April 20, 2022, Sadie Barry and her family - her mother Riana, her father Sean, and her big sister Shiway - were murdered in their beds while they slept.



The circumstances surrounding their senseless, unjustified, and untimely deaths are not my story to tell. But I have been encouraged to talk about their lives and the sheer beauty they manifested in the world around them.

I’m still finding it really hard to do that - to get the words out. I hope I can come back and add more later; to continue to write about them, and say their names aloud. I hope that you, reader, remember them; remember that even though they had moved away from Fairbanks, they still had one foot on the ground in Alaska, always; remember seeing them at parks, playdates, La Leche League meetings, Big Latch On events, the Children’s Museum, homeschooling groups, and at Fairbanks’ premiere social hangout, Fred Meyer.

I hope you remember them.



To honor the memory of the Barry family, a small group of dedicated loved ones and I are working hard to establish an endowment at the Fairbanks Children’s Museum to fund scholarships in their name, indefinitely.*

To make the endowment a reality, we have to raise $25,000 as a minimum investment. (We’re at about $10k at the time of this writing.) Please consider donating to our GoFundMe - even $5 will help us reach this goal.


Please, if you can, share this with anyone who knew the Barrys - and anyone you know who wants to support the museum in an especially meaningful way.


*The Barry Family Endowment will be fiscally managed by the Alaska Community Foundation, and the annual dividends will fund the Shiway & Sadie Scholarships for annual family memberships, summer camp tuition, and homeschool curriculum support at the Fairbanks Children’s Museum, by application or nomination. In the first year alone, the endowment will find at least 10 scholarships for annual membership. Still curious? Please feel welcome to contact me with any and all endowment-related questions, and I’ll be more than happy to answer them.


Additional information:

Kris Capps at the Daily News-Miner: Family Honored with Endowment for Fairbanks Children’s Museum

Dougherty Funeral Home obituary with a beautiful slideshow


Legacy.com obituary as published in the DNM

Happy Halloween | Annual Client Appreciation Event at Sarah Lewis Photography

So, here’s the deal.

In many ways, custom photography is a luxury product: non-essential, but lovely. (In other ways, of course, it’s the “product” that matters most: I remember how struck I was when National Geographic published images after Hurricane Katrina, picturing warehouses full of folding tables covered with photographs salvaged from the ruins, and the hoards of people desperately searching through them to pluck their memories out of the melee.)

As such, I have such an appreciation for all my clients: those who invest in my services even though it’s so easy to let that little voice in your head talk you out of it. I know how much of an investment photography is, no matter how valuable I believe it is in the long run, and I have such gratitude for this crowd of people who not only agree with me, but who also make my humble business a reality.

So, I’m saying thank-you in the only way I know how: photos! Insert laughing-until-you-cry emoji here. Each year, I send all my clients a holiday card with a coupon for $100 off their next full session, and in the meantime, I try to offer Client Appreciation events. All my clients are invited to drop by my studio for complementary portraits and/or merriment as a gesture of gratitude (and because they’re a pretty rad group of people to hang out with, too).

In 2018, these included a Better Than School Portraits event in September,

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and a Halloween Open House with complimentary costume portraits.

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If 2019 is the year you’d like to join the invite list for these client-only events, drop me a line here and we’ll talk photos.

Rarefied Light 2018

2018 marks the first year I have had a piece accepted to the Alaska Photographic Center's annual juried exhibition, Rarefied Light.  

"2:04 p.m." ©2018 Sarah Lewis

"2:04 p.m." ©2018 Sarah Lewis

This is truly a statewide exhibit in that it travels.  There are shows in Anchorage (October 2018), Fairbanks, and Kenai.  The Fairbanks showing opens on December 7, 2018 in the Bear Gallery (on the third floor of the Alaska Centennial Center for the Arts in Pioneer Park at 2300 Airport Road) with a reception from 5-7pm. The show will hang there until December 29 (and then it moves on to Kenai!).  

I can’t wait to see the entire show. I hope to see you there.

Time Flies

My "baby" turned two this month.  And somehow, he knew he was supposed to blow out the candles on his cake.  *cue heartmelt*

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For others who might be looking for gluten-free, egg-free cake solutions, this is the recipe I used (along with a banana-avocado-cocoa powder frosting) and it was truly delish!

Fairbanks Breastfeeding Coalition 2018 Juried Art Show: Fairbanks Fine Art Photographer

This April marked the fourth annual juried art show put on by the Fairbanks Breastfeeding Coalition.  I just LOVE this exhibition.  An incredible variety of works are submitted every year and there are always pieces that surprise and amaze me.  I've been fortunate to have pieces included in all four shows now, and an image of mine won the second prize award in both 2016 and 2017.  

This year, my image won first prize.  

"If Only I Had Another Set of Hands," ©2018 Sarah Lewis.  Special thanks to Brooke, Conner, and Colleen, models extraordinaire.  

"If Only I Had Another Set of Hands," ©2018 Sarah Lewis.  Special thanks to Brooke, Conner, and Colleen, models extraordinaire.  

 

I love that I can count on this show happening annually, because it gives my brain time to meander around and contemplate ideas without much of a time crunch.  The idea for this image hit me during the dead of winter, and I knew I wanted to make it for the FBC show.  It took several months to plan it out and put it together (mostly because passion projects are often the last things on the list to get taken care of...), and then to shoot and edit.  The whole process was surprisingly refreshing - following an idea just for me, with no expectations or requirements... I realized it's been far too long since I let such rabbit holes into my workload.  

A note to those who might like to share or use this image, since copyright is tricky in this day and age: if you are a sole individual (and not an entity) sharing online, please share but cite and link back to me.  If you would like to include this image as part of a website or publication, online or otherwise, please drop me a line first so we can chat.  Thank you! 

Ella Grace: Fighting PFIC at Seven Months Old | Fairbanks, Alaska

This is Ella.  

Ella.

Ella.

This is Ella's mama.  

Kassandra.  

Kassandra.  

And this is Ella's family.  

The whole crew.  

The whole crew.  

This is Ella moments after she was born.  (Yup, I was there.)  I think you can feel the ecstatic reverence of her family's gaze in this picture; she was an answer to their collective prayers, and they chose Grace ("God's favor") as her middle name to codify how thankful they are to have her.  Attending her birth was one of the more remarkable experiences I've ever had.  

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Ella Grace is seven months old as I write this.  A little shy of a month ago, everything changed.  Kassandra texted me over Labor Day weekend to let me know they were in Anchorage in the Providence PICU.  Ella was in liver failure.  

I can't convey how shocked I was to hear that.  Liver failure??  This of course pales to what Ella's family was experiencing.  (*This seems like a good time to note that this whole entry is a paraphrased summary of second-hand narrative - there are of course a lot more nuances to everything.  But this is the jist, as much I've been able to piece together.)  After months of mild but nagging concern, Kassandra and Mike again brought Ella into Urgent Care, never expecting that they would be aboard an air ambulance to the PICU mere hours later.  All told, they spent a week in Providence with little more than the clothes they had thrown on that Monday morning.   

Ella improved rapidly.  She was able to leave the PICU in favor of a regular children's ward room after a few days, and soon they no longer felt she was in liver failure, but referred to the episode as a liver injury.  But they still didn't know why.  There were a whole lot of tests and a lot about what it wasn't (and a lot of stuff on the "wasn't" list was GREAT stuff to have ruled out!), but by and large it was still a mystery.  The Ryan family was discharged and able to come home to Fairbanks (while still remaining in close contact with Ella's new specialists in Anchorage) still waiting on answers.

The day after they returned home, you could see how improved Ella was - barely a trace of jaundice even in the whites of her eyes.  There was so much relief in her improvement.  

Why yes, I am a living Cabbage Patch Doll.  

Why yes, I am a living Cabbage Patch Doll.  

But it didn't last.  Slowly, her liver enzymes started to show deterioration again; she had to wear little baby socks over her hands to stop her from scratching the terrible itching; and jaundice begin to creep across her complexion again.  At this point, the Ryan family prepared for a trip to Seattle Children's Hospital for a camera-assisted liver biopsy and exploratory surgery.  

As it turns out, one of the dozens of tests they'd been waiting on came in with genetic results just before they left for Seattle.  The biopsy surgery went well (apart from being terrifying, of course), and the next day, they got the news that the biopsy confirmed the test results.  

In Kassandra's own words: Yesterday’s biopsy confirmed [Ella's] diagnosis of a very rare genetic disease called Progressive Familial Intrahepatic Cholestasis, or PFIC. she has a mutation for Type 1, and for Type 3. However, since she only has one mutation for Type 1, they aren’t diagnosing her as Type 1, because it typically takes two mutations for Type 1 to present as disease. So she is officially diagnosed with PFIC3. In most cases, Type 3 is “better” to have than Type 1, but not always. This disease presents differently in everyone, and it’s not common enough for them really to know what to expect for Ella. At some point, she may need a liver transplant. Or her liver could stabilize and potentially be ok.

There was talk of removing her gallbladder, but that won’t be happening at this time, and we are praying it becomes a non-issue entirely.

PFIC is characterized mainly by the intense itching that comes from bilirubin build up in the system. We have a starting medication to try to help keep it at bay that we will use as needed. And other options to try later if it doesn’t work.

The biopsy also looked to see how damaged her liver is. Untreated PFIC will often lead to cirrhosis, and they wanted to make sure Ella wasn’t heading in that direction already, and she’s not! There is some very light scarring at this point, but nothing that they are terribly concerned about, and that will continue to be monitored as well.

So now the plan is simply to monitor her. We will need to return to Seattle in about a month for a follow up, and we will repeat labs at that time. In the meantime, we will continue the medications she is on to help keep her bile thin, and to help supplement her vitamin levels. We will also keep doing weight checks at home.

... we were devastated by the news we were given. Today we have more hope for a full life for our girl. This isn’t the answer we were hoping for, but God is still GOOD. We still trust Him and the purpose he has for Ella. I know we will have hard days, especially given that we really have no concrete answers here. But God is faithful and he will walk through this with us! Thank you all so very much for your continued prayers, they have carried us through this very stressful and uncertain time. 💕

Kassandra's strength humbles me greatly.  I have so much admiration for her ability to be grounded yet hopeful, joyful, in the face such unexpected adversity.  

If, like me, you're aching for any way to extend a little love and support to the Ryan family during this time, you're in luck.  Friends set up a You Caring page to collect donations to help offset all the incidental costs of travel and out-of-pocket medical care.  In addition, donations of Alaska Airlines miles would be incredibly appreciated - if you'd like to donate miles to the family, please contact me directly for info.  More than anything, the Ryan family would appreciate your love, thoughts, and prayers for Ella and their family.  

Shortly after sharing the diagnosis, Kassandra wrote this on her Facebook page.  I just wanted to take a minute to say a huge THANK YOU. It does not feel like enough, a simple “thank you”. But I say it from the bottom of my heart. I am so blown away by the support we have received from everyone, even complete strangers to us have donated to help offset the costs of all that Ella is going through. It has been such a blessing for covering the cost of simple things that would have been stressful without this help. Such as meals when we are out and about, and when we were in the hospital, and supplements we got for Ella today. Little costs that really add up. And these funds will help us cover Ella’s main med that she is on (that thus far, insurance is refusing to cover) for the near future. Every single one of you who have donated have really helped to lighten the load in a big way, and we are just so grateful. I never expected to receive the amount that we have. So thank you for giving so generously, each and every one of you. It means so much!

Fairbanks, I love watching you rally around the people you love.  You rock, little city.  

Ella's YouCaring page is here.